Naming babies for others to take over

Apartment complexes are coming up all over Colombo like mushrooms. I wonder how are roads would look like in a couple of years time. Property developers are focussed on selling a location but I hope the authorities are concerned about providing basic facilities such as transport, health, education etc., to the citizens of Colombo. Now at this point of time, one can put up a house in 3 perches, even a highrise building in 15 to 20 perches and house 100 to even 1000 people. There is legal provision for that. 600 new apartment complexes are coming up in the Colombo district alone. What will this do to the city of Colombo I wonder? Well, people are talking about it but I am not sure whether anything serious is even considered about it by those who can make the changes.

From a marketing point of view, the first step to sell an apartment complex is to come up with a brand name. So that is when these property developers ask my Associate to first come up with a name. Specifications, location advantage, etc., etc., is handed over as if it is God’s gift to people of Sri Lanka. As I happen to be the “Ghostwriter” of my Associate, my initial step is to come up with a concept for the new apartment. After getting the concept approved I suggest 2 or maybe 3 brand names that suit my concept.

Now, this is when the irritation starts. “We don’t like it, can you come up with some more options” is the invariable message I get. I guess it is some sort of self-importance that Clients over here in Sri Lanka love to exercise, and they feel that it is their fundamental right to make all their service providers work their butt off for the peanuts they throw compared to the money they make by selling concrete boxes. So the exchange of documents goes back and forth. Since I have put my hand in it I cannot afford ask my Associate to tell his Client to stick something up his anus so deep so that he would be able to taste it. Well in the service industry we are paid to be humble, so justification is done diplomatically.

I go to great lengths to explain that the acceptance of a brand name by a target audience depends on how well it is positioned and marketed. I am sure brands like Nike, Coke, BMW, Peugeot, would have never dreamt of changing their name because of some moron in some corner of the globe who didn’t like the sound of it.

However the inevitable happens 90% of the time. Ultimately the very first name that was suggested by me is accepted by the Client.

Oh it is so great to be a “Ghostwriter”

I am never invited for the Christening or for birthdays but money is credited to my account. As for the baby becoming great… it is their baby after all. I work on the branding, write copy for brochures, print ads, electronic ads, PR articles, and the script for the walkthrough documentary. My job is to make sure that people come to see the baby.

It is the Client’s job to convince people to take over the baby, feed him and change the diapers. All I do is to sit in front of my computer and jot down my ideas.